Wednesday, October 27, 2010


It's the end of October already and Samhain/Halloween is upon us. This Time of year has been pretty tough for me since my dad passed away in 2008. He was a big part of my life and I was not ready for him to go. Really though, when is anyone ever ready to lose one of their parents? I've been reflecting on the impact my dad had on my life a lot the past couple weeks and remembering some of the silliest things, things that seem really insignificant when they're happening, but things that stick in the mind for some reason none the less...
My dad LOVED to get a rise out of us, just about any way he could so he'd do little things all the time to see if he could make someone holler "Gross DAD". I yelled those words more times than I care to count when I was younger and oh how he'd laugh when he'd get me to say those two seemingly insignificant words. Why is it those moments that seem to stick in the mind now though... Who knows.
I spent a lot of time with my dad when I was a kid. He participated in my youth group and went with me on many adventures as result. When we were camping in Tennessee, I remember him climbing up a cliff and doing a swan dive into the water below. He loved the end of the year ball games at my school and he helped me fill a cooler with Water Balloons to take to school for our yearly water fight too.
When dad had "the accident", a lot changed in him. I remember walking in to the emergency room and seeing him and nearly fainting (I don't handle seeing blood very well). We ALL waited two weeks to see him wake up after that. He was never quite the same after his accident but we were grateful just to have him still with us.
On my wedding day, even though it was very difficult for him to do it, he walked me down the aisle. It was so moving to have him there with me on that day. After I got married, we didn't see as much of each other. I moved to Texas with my husband and Mom and Dad moved back to Michigan. He couldn't hear very well, but when ever I called, I made sure to tell him I loved him even if I couldn't have much of a conversation with him.
I got to visit my parents in Michigan a few times. The last time I was there, we had a nice family picnic with many of the cousins visiting. I was there to help my mom take care of my grandmother who was declining pretty rapidly, but it was nice to have so much of the family getting together too. I probably even got egged into saying those magical words "Gross Dad" at least one more time.
Grandma passed away within a few days after I returned home from that trip. I knew Dad was in pretty bad shape then, I didn't know it would be the last time I got to spend time with him though. When I found out Dad was sick, I didn't even really have time to decide if I was going to be able to go back again. I don't think anyone was sure how bad it was, till he was already gone.
These days, I find myself laughing at memories from my childhood, my dad's silly fart jokes etched forever in my mind. I don't know if this time of year will ever be the same for me. I am grateful for the time I had with him though. I see a lot of him in me now, and that's ok with me. He will always be in my heart.
I love you DAD!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010


Over the last year, I have spent far too much of my time and energy trying to make ends meet so to speak. While finances are a major worry for pretty much everyone these days, it was more of a singular focus for me, and it caused a major imbalance in my life and my energy.
Last week, my husband and I went on a much needed vacation. We took the time together, to not only re-balance, but also to reconnect with each other and with nature.
We camped at a really lovely campground next to a lake in the Texas Hill Country. Although our campsite was not in the woods, there were woods nearby, and plenty of wildlife to be seen and heard. The deer in the area are very used to people and are often fed by campers, so there were many of them right in among the campsites, which made it feel even more peaceful. We arrived on Monday and left early Friday so there weren't that many people around either.
There were Purple Martins nesting in some of the pavilions which helped keep the mosquito population under control. There were rabbits nibbling on the grass at night, and an Osprey fishing at the lake as well. A really adorable family of ducks greeted us often in our camp looking for handouts. My husband would hear them nearby and mimic their call and they'd come waddling right on up to us.
Last week, my husband and I went on a much needed vacation. We took the time together, to not only re-balance, but also to reconnect with each other and with nature.
Our first night, we were visited by a family of skunks. Fortunately, they did not spray us or anything in our campsite. However, one of them must have sprayed something nearby, because we smelled them during the night and the aroma lingered in our truck the next day. Luckily, there was a store not too far away and we bought some Febreeze which fixed that problem.
My husband enjoyed some fishing in the early mornings, and we saw some beautiful sunsets as well. The breeze kept the tent comfortable at night and during the day, it was not too hot, if we could manage to stay in the shade. The water was clear and very refreshing, especially after setting up camp on the first day. The stars were an amazing sight and the moon grew brighter and brighter every night.
We returned home with a renewed vigor, and a stronger relationship. I am hesitant now though to re-enter the monotony of day to day life... worrying about finances and keeping up with everyone else's expectations... juggling responsibilities and still trying to find some time for our spirituality and our relationship... For now though, we are stronger and more in tune with the natural world, our spirits rekindled and our priorities realigned. We'll definitely be going back though, and hopefully more often. I truly did not realize how frayed I was until I got away from it and had time to reflect and renew.
Thursday, August 12, 2010


A couple weeks ago, I was sleeping soundly when I woke suddenly. I felt a very strange sensation, and out of instinct, I sort of pushed with my hands and shook my body as if trying to get something off of me. I rolled over, a little groggy still from waking, and saw a shadow sort of hovering in the corner of my room.
What I did next was again out of instinct, but I find it rather curious... I pointed at the shadow and said "Dissipate", almost as if issuing a command, although I have no idea why I'd say that specifically. After this, the shadow faded away and in just moments I drifted back to sleep.
As I was sleeping before this all happened, I honestly wasn't sure for a couple days if this incident was real or a dream. It took me a few days to decide, but it was nagging at me too much to leave it be. I still keep replaying it in my head. I have no idea what this shadow was or what it was doing when it woke me, but what I find most interesting is my instinctual reaction. I don't know where that all came from. Dissipate isn't a word I would normally use so I'm baffled as to why I'd use that word. I'm also completely astonished as to how quickly I was able to fall asleep afterward.
I've ALWAYS been afraid of the dark. In the past, when something strange would happen at night, I'd be so terrified that I'd not be able to sleep for days or even weeks afterward. My calm after this event is new to me. Even now, looking back over all of this, I feel a sense of peace and even accomplishment more than fear. In some way I feel comforted to know that even when I'm not fully awake, I'm able to protect myself. What I protected myself from exactly seems to matter less(a little) than the knowledge that I did though.
What I did next was again out of instinct, but I find it rather curious... I pointed at the shadow and said "Dissipate", almost as if issuing a command, although I have no idea why I'd say that specifically. After this, the shadow faded away and in just moments I drifted back to sleep.
As I was sleeping before this all happened, I honestly wasn't sure for a couple days if this incident was real or a dream. It took me a few days to decide, but it was nagging at me too much to leave it be. I still keep replaying it in my head. I have no idea what this shadow was or what it was doing when it woke me, but what I find most interesting is my instinctual reaction. I don't know where that all came from. Dissipate isn't a word I would normally use so I'm baffled as to why I'd use that word. I'm also completely astonished as to how quickly I was able to fall asleep afterward.
I've ALWAYS been afraid of the dark. In the past, when something strange would happen at night, I'd be so terrified that I'd not be able to sleep for days or even weeks afterward. My calm after this event is new to me. Even now, looking back over all of this, I feel a sense of peace and even accomplishment more than fear. In some way I feel comforted to know that even when I'm not fully awake, I'm able to protect myself. What I protected myself from exactly seems to matter less(a little) than the knowledge that I did though.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010


Tiger Iron is a combination of Hematite, Red Jasper and Tiger's Eye so it carries the metaphysical properties of all three of these, plus a few of it's own. Over the past few years, it has become one of my most relied upon stones, and in fact is one of the first stones I started working with when I discovered my affinity toward using them for healing and other magical/metaphysical purposes.
Tiger Iron is extremely helpful for dealing with family stress and emotional burnout. My first encounter with tiger iron was shortly before my father died, and it really helped me deal with the loss. There were many nights I sat holding my tiger iron sphere, just letting it draw the emotional turmoil out of me.
It is helpful for people who are chemically sensitive and those who are sensitive to noise pollution as well. It's a fantastic stone for grounding and centering and will help bring clarity to difficult situations. It also promotes creativity and helps bring out your inherent talents. I find that it helps build self confidence and will power, and in this way makes you more confident to use your talents also.
As with most stones, tiger iron needs occasional cleansing. It would be beneficial to set it in the sunlight for cleansing and recharging. The tiger's eye component of this stone is connected to the sun, so this would be the preferred method for both and is one of the simplest methods.
This stone is very close to my heart, as it is helpful to me in so many ways, and I would recommend it for anyone looking for some stability. After researching this stone yet again to write this, I've found even more reasons I should have this one with me nearly all the time. I hope you'll find it as beneficial as I have.
Source: "The Encyclopedia of Crystals" by Judy Hall
Tiger Iron is extremely helpful for dealing with family stress and emotional burnout. My first encounter with tiger iron was shortly before my father died, and it really helped me deal with the loss. There were many nights I sat holding my tiger iron sphere, just letting it draw the emotional turmoil out of me.
It is helpful for people who are chemically sensitive and those who are sensitive to noise pollution as well. It's a fantastic stone for grounding and centering and will help bring clarity to difficult situations. It also promotes creativity and helps bring out your inherent talents. I find that it helps build self confidence and will power, and in this way makes you more confident to use your talents also.
As with most stones, tiger iron needs occasional cleansing. It would be beneficial to set it in the sunlight for cleansing and recharging. The tiger's eye component of this stone is connected to the sun, so this would be the preferred method for both and is one of the simplest methods.
This stone is very close to my heart, as it is helpful to me in so many ways, and I would recommend it for anyone looking for some stability. After researching this stone yet again to write this, I've found even more reasons I should have this one with me nearly all the time. I hope you'll find it as beneficial as I have.
Source: "The Encyclopedia of Crystals" by Judy Hall
Sunday, July 18, 2010


Sometimes you just have to get smacked in the head by a magical 2x4 to really get the point. Today was one of those times I guess. I went to catch a movie with my husband and our two best friends. The movie was a blast! After the movie, we were pulling out of the theater parking lot when my husband and I both saw a deer at the edge of a small stand of trees in the vacant lot across the street. That would be odd enough since we were in a rather busy part of Houston, which isn't even close to being near a forrest of any kind, but to top it off, my husband identified it as a young Red Stag. Red deer are NOT native to Texas. They are raised in the state for hunting on some of the private ranches but honestly we weren't any where near a place that would have them, we were in the CITY.
We both decided that there was no way that was some sort of coincidence so we got too looking at our books about animals and the messages they are trying to show us. Since I can't think of any great way to explain what I read, I'll quote the book directly... I found the listing for deer in "Animal Totems: The Power and Prophecy of Your Animal Guides" by Trish MacGregor and Millie Gemondo. In the section "Significance" listed under "Finances" it says "It is important to you at this time to be earning money in a way that is in line with your deepest beliefs. Once you do this, your prosperity increases." and under "Work/Career" it says "Are you being true to yourself? Are you working in a job or career that is in line with your principles?" Honestly, I don't think the universe could have smacked me any harder if it tried. I have been wanting desperately to open my own metaphysical shop and I'm stumped as to how to go about it, and where to do it. I make a lot of stuff myself and I thought selling my jewelry would be a great start but I had to take up my old job in retail due to our finances and I haven't had enough time to work on making much of anything. It has also been really getting me down lately, working in retail. It's a very demanding job, with little appreciation, and even less common curtesy on a daily basis. Don't get me wrong, there are those regular customers that are super friendly and really brighten my day, but I still wake up every day dreading going to work, and all I really want to do is sell the things I make.
I'm still not sure what steps I need to take, but it's clear to me that I need to get off my butt and make things happen in this area. I'm really torn though because I know we need my current job in order to pay the bills right now, but I also think my current job is the biggest thing standing in my way as it consumes so much of my time. As for the universe... MESSAGE RECEIVED!
Sunday, June 27, 2010


Last evening, I attended a full moon circle with my husband and our friends. The evening began with a guided meditation, lead by our hostess, Ingrid. It is rare that I get visual pictures when I meditate, often I hear things or just get bits and pieces of information. This time however, it was different. I felt for the first time as if I were literally transported to another place and time.
I started out in a hall of pillars.... Sort of a long path, lined with many stone pillars which held up a roof that covered the entire walkway. The pillars looked like the giant papyrus pillars of Ancient Egypt. I looked down at my feet and saw sandals strapped onto my feet with long straps wrapping and crisscrossing part way up my calves. I walked down the path toward a doorway in a building ahead of me.
When I stepped through the doorway, I saw thousands of tiny flickering flames all over the room. They looked like the flames of thousands of candles, yet seemed independent of any source. As I walked toward the center of the room it seemed as if the flames moved out of the way of my every step. When I arrived at the center of the room, these little flames swirled around me and formed a spiral staircase beginning directly in front of me and spiraling upward out of sight.
I knew instinctively that I should walk up the staircase, and as I did this, I noticed that they did not burn me or my sandals. Also, though they seemed to be floating, they held my weight effortlessly and felt like firm ground beneath me. I could see down between the flames to the floor bellow as well. Even so, I had no fear as I continued upward.
At the top of the stairs, I found myself in the center of another room. In front of me was a throne with a woman seated upon it. I could not see her face, only that she seemed to be made up of pure white light. I knew her to be my goddess, though she said nothing at first, and I felt only peace in her presence.
She beckoned for me to come forward, which I did immediately. Standing before her felt very familiar to me, as if I'd been there before. She leaned toward me and whispered "You are always a messenger of light." After hearing these words, I found myself once again in the lower room, surrounded by tiny flickering flames.
Leaving this temple brought some sadness to me. I felt such peace there, that I did not wish to return just yet to this plane. After the meditation, some of us shared a bit of our experiences with each other. Telling others what I saw and felt, brought a tear to my eye as the raw beauty of what I'd been shown washed over me. My hope is that I brought back some of that light with me to share with those I meet. I hope that I brighten this world even just a little for having been a part of it.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010


I'm going to periodically delve into stones and their lore, and healing associations. To start this off, I've chosen the stone I feel the greatest connection with.
Amethyst is basically a purple variety of Quartz. It has many of the same properties as quartz although with the color difference, it does have some unique qualities as well.
Amethyst has both receptive and projective properties, this makes it a great multipurpose stone. It can be used to absorb negative energies or charged to protect or heal. Although a word of caution might be warranted here... Quartz and it's related stones can become toxic if they absorb too much negative energy. To keep this from happening, it requires regular cleansing. There are several ways to cleanse a stone, however one of the simplest and most effective in my opinion is setting it in the sunlight. This recharges it as it absorbs the suns energy, and also burns away the negativity it may have absorbed.
Amethyst is a very spiritual stone. This makes it great for meditation as well as use in any part of your regular spiritual practices. It is said to assist in astral travel and also helps us strengthen our connection to the divine. It is also a great emotional healer, and helps to teach us self love.
Amethyst was associated with preventing intoxication, and is very useful in helping to break addictions. I do not recommend using this alone though, it is most helpful when combined with more traditional treatments in order to get to the root cause of the addiction and prevent relapses.
Amethyst has been cherished by royalty for centuries and is associated with several deities as well. Foremost for me, is Isis, my matron goddess. Others include Bacchus, Dionysus and Diana. It is also sacred to Buddha and is used in buddhist prayer/meditation beads. Christians associated amethyst with purity and chastity and is still worn by many Bishops. Most commonly, in modern times, amethyst known for being the birthstone of the month of February.
I personally wear amethyst nearly every day. It helps me feel closer to my goddess and helps me stay more spiritually aware. In my spiritual journey, Amethyst has been a constant companion that I'll always treasure.
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