This last year, my family and I sat down and made a list of the values we each felt were most important. We took those individual lists, and compiled a single list of the values that we each shared and discussed what those values meant for each of us. I took that information and wrote a short explanation for each of these values. This was a great chance for us to all have some input in the foundations of our family coven and also a way for us to each learn to understand the other a little better. It took me quite a while to finish writing these, mostly because I was resisting the call to write that was growing ever stronger day by day. The gods don't let up just because you don't want to listen, they just find more ways to get their point across. I hope that these will inspire you, and give you some ideas for moving forward in your own spiritual path.

Blessed Be!


Acceptance

The ability to accept people for who they are can lead to many learning opportunities and a greater understanding of our universe. This is not a blind acceptance, but acceptance tempered with discernment.



Adaptability

The ability to adapt to the constant changes in our universe as well as adapting to the new things we learn as we grow is of great importance to our family as each individual learns more about themselves and their place in our world.



Balance

With all the things demanding our attention and a great deal of our time and energy, finding balance is more important then ever. When the many aspects of our lives are balanced, we are more able to make informed and timely decisions. When we are unbalanced in our lives, stress, sickness and discord prevail.



Creativity

The ability to find new and different ways to solve problems is very useful in our every day lives. However, creativity is much more than that. Creativity helps us find new ways to accomplish goals and even helps us invent new things. Without creativity there would be no art or poetry or even beautiful buildings for us to admire. Creativity benefits us in many aspects of our lives and enriches our spirituality.



Dependability

Family members must be able to depend on one another, this builds trust, which strengthens the family bonds. Strong, dependable families build strong, dependable communities.



Exploration

Exploring new places, ideas and different cultures teaches us about our world, helps us define who we are and helps find our place in the world. Exploration renews our spirits and strengthens our minds.



Empathy

The ability to read and understand others emotions and even experience to some degree what others may be going through, gives us a better understanding of those we come in contact with. This helps us understand events from different perspectives and also helps us connect with others in very personal ways.



Gratitude

When we show gratitude, we encourage others to be generous to each other by making them feel appreciated. However, feeling grateful for something someone else has done for us is important too. Gratitude is a two way street, we must experience both sides of it to understand it fully.



Integrity

Integrity is a necessity in building trust with in the family coven as well as between the family coven and the greater Pagan community. We must have integrity of word as well as deed at all times in order to maintain that trust.



Loyalty

There are many forms of loyalty. Loyalty to our friends and family and loyalty to our beliefs are some of the most important forms. In our family coven, loyalty between the members helps to bind us closer together.



Open-mindedness

Closing our minds, limits the possibilities in our lives. Keeping our minds open, while maintaining some caution allows us to remain open to opportunities that we may not otherwise have noticed.



Strength

There are many forms of strength and all are important in different ways. Most important in our family coven is our inner strength, that which we draw on when all else has failed. This of course comes from our connection with the divine which is in us all.



Team-work

A family works in much the same way as a team. While each member has a specific job, they must each work with the other to fulfill the goals of the family(team) as a whole. Within the family coven there is another benefit to teamwork, we can work together to help the individual members reach their own goals as well, both magical and mundane.



Wisdom

There are many definitions of wisdom and many more descriptions of how to attain it. What the many definitions agree on is that wisdom is knowledge of what is right or just, combined with the judgment to determine the best way to achieve it. Wisdom is not only attained by the very old, but is often found among the very young as well. It can take lifetimes to achieve or only moments. It is something we should always work toward, for one can never be too wise.

It seems this past year, I have been looking at the natural world around me through new eyes. A couple of months ago, I was walking through the forest with my husband and as far as I could see, there was evidence of the death and decay that seems to surround us in the winter and fall. I looked around me and felt some sadness at the loss of these once magnificent trees that lay decaying at my feet. But I looked closer and saw, in the clearing where the trees had once stood, a group of saplings that had already sprung up to take their place there in the sun. The fallen trees began to decay, yet they still had a purpose to serve. They are the shelter for so many living things. Small lizards and snakes take shelter beneath them and more bugs than I could count live within. As these trees continue to decay, they break down to become part of the soil that the new trees grow in, the very foundation of their roots and the nutrients that feed them.

As spring arrives now, I see so much renewal. The sun shines, the birds sing and most everything is blossoming and growing. It's so much easier now to feel hopeful, but even in winter and fall there is hope. Each season is in some way important. In fall we harvest the bounty that has grown from spring and summer, then we make preparations for the winter. Winter is a time of rest. The earth rests and so do we all, saving our energies for the vigor of spring. Spring and summer, we see most clearly the vitality of the earth, which would not be possible without the dormancy of winter. And WE would not be able to survive winter without the harvest and preparations of fall.

I see these same cycles on a larger scale in the seasons of our lives. As children and young adults, we are vigorous and vital. We learn and grow and become what we are meant to become. As we age, we move through the seasons gradually. Often not noticing the exact moments of the transitions, but we realize them long after we have moved through the different phases. As adults, we raise our families and save what we can in preparation for the "winter" of our own lives. In our elder years, we spend a lot of time remembering, and also grooming the next generation to lead. When our loved ones pass from this life, our memories of them strengthen us and help us to continue to grow. They become our foundations and give us what we need to become the new leaders, and take OUR place in the sun.

We move through these seasons year after year, lifetime after lifetime, and generation after generation. Each one building upon the foundation of the ones that came before.

Seeing these cycles anew, after losing my own father over a year ago, brings me renewed hope and helps me appreciate more, the foundations on which I build my own life and the importance of the cycles and seasons of life in all that I see.

We have all heard the phrase “thou art goddess, thou art god”, but how much have we really thought about it? What exactly does that mean?

To me, it means more than the divine being a part of me, it’s more that I am an extension of the divine. In seeking a connection to the divine, I need not search any farther than within myself.

I find it empowering and sort of humbling at the same time. By realizing that I am an extension of the divine, I have found a bond that nothing can sever. The gods are always with me because I am a part of THEM. The humbling part comes when I think about how big the world is, and how much is in it, and I realize that all of it, and everyone in it, is ALSO a part of the divine.

The divine connects everything and everyone, not only to each other, but also back to the divine itself. We are all parts of the greater whole.

I think a better phrase might be… we are all goddess, we are all god.

One of the biggest lessons I have learned in the last two years is the importance of communication. It's not just about the words we say to one another though, it's the manner in which we say them as well.

A wonderful book I read that really illuminated the importance of communication is "Fierce Conversations" by Susan Scott. It's about how our relationships, in business and in life, are the conversations we carry on with the people we come in contact with. When the conversations stop, the relationships die. There are tips on how to bring up the conversations that are the most difficult, but usually the most necessary, and also how to better express problems without pointing fingers and placing blame. It is my personal opinion that any person in existence could learn from this book and it should be required reading for EVERYONE.

There are many quotes I could list here that I found extremely illuminating. I highlighted nearly half the book the first time I read it. As I prepare to read it again, I can only imagine how much more I will find important enough to highlight.

One of the most powerful realizations for me was the truth in Scott's statement that "the conversation IS the relationship." I had never looked at a relationship in the context of a conversation, but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. Long, rewarding relationships involve the most interesting and rewarding conversations. Relationships that suffer and wither are the result of not having conversations when they are needed. Of course, there is much more to a conversation than words, mannerisms are just as important often, as well as intent.

There are so many things I could go on about but I think the best thing anyone could do, is read the book "Fierce Conversations" and learn to live one conversation at a time.

I left off last time having just met the first pagan couple I'd ever met at the very first pagan ritual I'd ever attended. As the gods would have it, they have become our nearest and dearest friends and more like family than some of our blood kin. After some time getting to know one another and hanging out from time to time, I started getting tidbits of information from them about an organization that they were involved with. It came in little bits and pieces of conversations, which only made me more curious and lead me to joining the organizations yahoo group and sort of lurking while I learned more about them. This organization is called Family Wiccan Traditions International (FWTI for short), and my real introduction to the group took place when my dear friend sort of suggested I might be a good fit for helping them out with something (I honestly don't remember what it was at this time). I have never been very confident in myself and to be honest I was extremely nervous when the head of the organization phoned me to discuss the possibility of my participation. She was very friendly and put me at ease pretty quickly. I let her know that I didn't feel ready to take on anything yet as I had only book knowledge thus far and felt I needed a LOT more experience and information before I'd be much help at all. She asked me if I'd be interested in talking to someone about joining their clergy program and gaining the experience I felt I needed with the guidance of a mentor. Shortly after that, I spoke to Rev. Crystal, who became my mentor and has been so for around 2 years.

Finding FWTI has been such a blessing in so many ways. I have learned so much about what family really is and how wonderful it is to share your spiritual path with those closest to you. I am currently working toward my 2nd degree through FWTI and am starting now to feel that confidence that I had so lacked in the beginning. Rev. Crystal has been a wonderful mentor to me and is also a valued friend. Her patience and guidance have brought me through some very tough times. My dear friend Angelique and her husband have been my sanity at times. Just having friends who understand my experiences and don't think it odd when I talk about a stone speaking to me or the things I sort of just "know". All that I have learned from all the members of FWTI and the acceptance they have shown me has been such a blessing to my life. My husband has been my rock in this journey that I'm on. He keeps me grounded and gives me strength when I feel mine is gone.

This path has had it's ups and downs, and it's certainly not for everyone. It's different for everyone really, but for me, I've found a peace that I've never known before and the kind of friendship and acceptance that I never dreamed was possible. I hope this gives everyone a little insight into where I'm coming from. I'll be delving into some topics more deeply soon.

Hello, I'm Amethist Flame. To start my new blog out, I'm just going to tell everyone a bit about myself. I am a pagan, and I've been on a wonderful and empowering spiritual journey for the past few years. I began my journey in sort of an unusual way. I was reading my e-mail one day and I got a e-mail from one of my cousins mentioning paganism and how they had investigated paganism some with a friend. My cousin never meant for me to receive that e-mail at that time, however we both have marveled at the way the divine can lead in our lives even when we don't know they are. After reading the "accidental" e-mail I turned to my husband and said "I want to learn about Wicca" much to my own astonishment. He surprised me even further by saying "ok" and not even flinching. In many ways I'd been interested in Wicca and other alternative faiths for years without knowing exactly what it was I was interested in. After ordering several books from Barnes & Noble online and reading all I could read, I was hooked. I found explanations for many of the things I felt in my soul and many experiences I had had that I could not find explanations for anywhere else.

I read all the books on Wicca and paganism that I could get my hands on for over a year and absorbed it like a sponge yet still something was missing. I began to search for ways to meet other pagans and learn what I could, but the task was daunting to say the least. I'm not the most outgoing person, and it was terrifying to step out on a limb and actually go somewhere where everyone was strangers, in order to find others with similar views as myself. I joined some meet-up groups online and watched the postings for months before finally deciding to attend an open ritual that a local group was holding. My husband went with me and it's a good thing because I don't think I'd have had the courage to step out of my vehicle had he not been there. Here again, the gods lead in ways we can not always understand at the time, however looking back, there is no other explanation than divine guidance. That day at the very first ritual I'd ever attended, my husband and I pulled into the driveway followed closely by another couple who was visiting this group for the first time as well. We walked out to the circle together and sat near each other the whole night talking and having a wonderful time. While we didn't join the group that we visited that night, although they are a very nice group, the four of us have remained fast friends ever since.

For now I'll stop here. I'll continue the next part of my journey in my next installment. Thanks for reading and Blessed Be.